Chaos
by Erin Elric
Summary: A stupid humor story about the SHM. I'm bad at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

Once again still bored. I enjoy writing humor fics so I thought I'd write one about the SHM and I'm counting Sephiroth in this group. They out of character on purpose because I don't think I can write a humor fic and keep them in character.

Chaos Ch 1 Hair 

The three silver haired men stood outside the bathroom door.

"Hurry up Sephiroth!" begged Kadaj knocking on the door. "You've been in there for an hour!"

"I got to pee." Said Loz as he did the 'I got to pee dance'

Yazoo leaned against the wall hair disarray. He frowned and crossed his arms.

"Sephiroth! Open this damn door right now!" Kadaj screamed

The bathroom door opened along with a cloud of steam. His hair was still wet and he was wearing his usual clothes. Some where off in the distance a choir sung. _"Sephiroth."_

"It is I Sepi-" before he finished his unnecessary monologue Loz knocked him over to get into the bathroom. "Bastard." Mumbled Sephiroth standing back just in time to be knocked over by the door.

"Are you okay brother?" asked Kadaj

"Yes." He said standing up. "I am the great Sephiroth I'll never get hurt, or bleed, or die or be a memory!" He pulled a towel out of the closet. "Nor will I use a hair dryer!"

_"Sephiroth!"_

He laughed like a mad man and began to leave the area to find that his coat was stuck in the door.

Kadaj and Yazoo laughed.

"It is not funny! Wait till I get unstuck then you both shall feel my wrath!"

_"Sephiroth!"_

"Why can't I get my own theme song?" Sighed Kadaj he then looked at Yazoo. "Brother I want my own theme song."

"Kadaj." He sung flatly.

"You call that a theme song!" yelled Kadaj

"Your name isn't as cool as mine." Said Sephiroth

Kadaj glared at him. "Mean!" he yelled

He laughed. "Of course I'm mean. I am evil! I am the great-"

"Please shut up." Said Yazoo.

Sephiroth began to fume. "How dare you tell me to shut up! I am the great-!" he fell backwards when Loz opened the bathroom door.

"Sorry Seph." Said Loz walking around him. This was the plus for having one brother with short hair it doesn't take Loz and hour or more just to wash his hair.

"Call me Seph again and I will kill you." He said standing up and pulled his overly long coat out of the door. "Victory is mine once again!" He yelled triumphantly spinning around to see Yazoo standing there just staring at him. "What?"

"…"

"What? What do you want?"

"Move please."

"Oh sorry." He said moving. "Wait why am I apologizing for?" he asked himself out loud as Yazoo walked past him.

He just shrugged as he walked into the bathroom.

"Damn! There won't be any hot water left for me by the time he gets out of there." Said Kadaj shortly there after there was an high pitch ungodly scream from the bathroom. He gasped and opened the door. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Yazoo stood in the middle of the bathroom still dressed mind you holding a bottle of some sort. "He used it."

"Used what?"

"My favorite shampoo! He used it all!" he screamed marching past Kadaj and attacked Loz. "How dare you!"

Loz screamed like a girl. "I'm sorry Yazoo please don't kill me! Sephiroth used up all of the other kind I had no choice!"

"Yes you did! You could have not washed your hair! You put two tones of hair gel in your hair every day no one would notice if you didn't wash it! I on the other hand have long beautiful locks to maintain! I can not go into battle with dirty hair!"

"I'm sorry Yazoo!"

"Sorry? Sorry isn't good enough!" he yelled shaking him.

Loz began to cry. "I'm sorry Yazoo. Please don't hurt me."

He dropped Loz on the ground. "Don't do it again!" he yelled as he stormed back into the bathroom and threw Kadaj out of the room.

"He's scary when his angry." Said Kadaj

Loz nodded.

Sephiroth merely smirk. "I always knew he had it in him." He said proudly.

"Shouldn't you two be going some where?" asked Kadaj

"Indeed! I the great Sephiroth am off to bug Cloud!"

_"Sephiroth!"_

"After my hair drys." He said walking away.

After they finally got their baths taken.

"Let's go torment Cloud." Said Sephiroth after he finished bushing his really freaking long hair.

"We can't." said Yazoo.

"Why not?" he asked sounding surprised.

"My hair isn't dry yet." He said flipping his long (though not as long as Sephi's) hair.

"Oh my God." Sighed Kadaj hanging his head in shame. "I can not believe I am related to you."

"You're just jealous that I got the good hair genes." He said smiling evilly.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are." He said then reached over and ran his hand through the part of Kadaj's hair that hung over his eye. "Captain stringy hair."

He slapped his hand. "My hair is **NOT** stringy! Besides maybe if **SOMEONE **around would let other people use the good kind of shampoo I'd have fluffy hair like you and Sephi."

Yazoo glared at him with all the annoyance he could muster. "Why you little…"

Sephiroth got in between them. "Enough! And don't call me Sephi."

Kadaj stuck his tongue out at him and Yazoo glared at his younger brother.

"I said quite it!" yelled Sephiroth. "That is no way to act towards your brother and you know it."

"That is no way to act towards your brother and you know it." Kadaj mimicked stupidly.

"I heard that."

"So are we going or not?" asked Kadaj.

"My hair isn't dry. I am not going out in public with wet hair, then drive on a motorcycle. My hair will be a mess."

"Your hair will be fine." Said Sephiroth putting on his coat and lacing it up.

"My hair must be prefect. If it is ruined I blame you." He said pointing at Sephiroth.

"Oh for the love of mother." He sighed then left.

Yazoo zipped up his coat then followed Sephiroth out side.

Loz finished putting on his boots and fixing his hair and left as well.

"Why couldn't I've been an only child." Sighed Kadaj strapping his coat to his legs then left as well.

At Edge or Migar what ever they are calling it these days…

Cloud was minding his own business and was driving down the streets of Edge Migar whatever humming Nemo by Nightwish when suddenly Sephiroth landed in front of him (unlike the other three he flew there)

_"Sephiroth!" _sung the choirs.

"It is I Sephiroth."

_"Sephiroth!"_

"What you again? Didn't I kill you all ready this month."

"No-"

_"Sephiroth!"_

Sephiroth frowned at the nonexistent choirs. "That was last month."

"I thought I fought you last week."

"That was Kadaj."

_"Sephiroth!"_

"You know that is really annoying." Said Cloud.

"Isn't it though."

_"Sephiroth!"_

"Stop it!"

_"No!"_

"Want'em?"

"Nah."

In the distance Sephiroth heard the other three arrive.

_"The other three!"_

They all frowned.

"Finally we get some kind of recognition." Said Kadaj

"What took you three so damn long?" asked Sephiroth

"We ran out of gas." Said Yazoo.

_"Gasoline!"_

"Are you singers on crack?" asked Cloud.

"Probably." Said Sephiroth.

_"Crack!"_

"I wish they'd stop it. I feel my cool points dropping as we speak."

_"Cool points!"_

"I've had it!" yelled Sephiroth and Yazoo pulled out his gun and shot a nearby bush.

_"Sephi…roth…" _

"At last silence! Now where was I?" said Sephiroth

"We talking about which one of your three personality disorders I fought last." Said Cloud.

"Oh yes it was Kadaj right?"

"No Yazoo." Said Kadaj.

"I thought Loz fought him last." Said Yazoo.

"I thought it was both of you." Said Loz.

"I think I'm confused." Said Cloud.

Sephiroth shook his head. "Which one was it Cloud: short hair, long hair, or stringy hair."

"Hey!" yelled Kadaj.

"I don't remember…" said Cloud. "Why! Why can't I remember!" he yelled overly dramatic. "I just want to be forgiven!"

Sephiroth looked at him like he was insane. "Let's just go." He said looking back at his brothers.

Loz looked at Cloud and shook his head then left.

"And we're related to him?" asked Yazoo leaving as well.

"Weirdo." Mumbled Kadaj as he followed the other two.

Sephiroth looked down at the young blonde still screaming something about forgiveness. "And people say I'm crazy." He said then left.

Read review NO flames please.


	2. Voices in the woods

Thanks all for the reviews, I didn't think this would be this popular after just one chapter. Remember OOC is on purpose. Read review no flames please.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, Square Enix does.

Chaos 

Ch 2 Voices in the woods.

"I hate camping." Said Sephiroth who was currently arguing with the tent that he was trying to put up.

"You could have stayed home you know." Said Loz

"Can I go home?" asked Yazoo.

Loz lightly hit him. "Remember Yazoo this is for Kadaj."

"Camping, camping." Chanted Kadaj as he walked over to them happy.

Yazoo and Sephiroth shook their heads. "Are you sure I'm related to you." They both said at the same time.

"Oh come on you know camping is fun." He said hugging Yazoo playfully.

"I hate camping. There's bugs, no running water, creepy things in the dark…" he said looking around as bugs and owls made noises.

"Oh Yazoo that's just natures music."

"It's creepy."

"You're a wimp." He whispered in his ear letting him go and continued on his merry way. "You're not afraid of the night noises are?" he asked looking at Sephiroth.

"No." he said flatly as the tent fell over. "Son of bitch!" he yelled kicking the fallen tent. "I will defeat thee!" he yelled drawing his sword and held it high above his head.

"Sephi don't kill the tent." Said Kadaj.

"How about I kill you for wanting to do this." He said looking over at him.

"Leave him alone." Said Loz. "This is his birth day present."

"Yeah." Said Kadaj nodding.

"Lame gift." He sighed picking the tent back up.

"My lame gift! Oops I mean my gift!" yelled Kadaj

"Daj, find some sticks so we can make a camp fire." Said Loz

"Okay. Yazoo come with me."

He nodded.

Kadaj hummed happily as he walked through the woods.

"Kadaj please stop singing."

"Make me."

At times like this he wanted to shoot his brother. Love only went so far before you wanted to kill him. "Keep it up and I will."

"Why are you so grumpy today?"

"I'm not being grumpy."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Too."

"Not"

"Too."

"Not."

"Not."

"Too… shit!"

He laughed loudly.

"It's not funny."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not… I'm not playing this game with you Daj!"

"Fine don't." he said hatefully and walked off.

"Hey wait for me!" he called trying to follow him.

"No! Your mean to me and I don't like you!"

"Kadaj quite it and act your age!" yelled Yazoo when Kadaj stopped and he ran right into him. "Ouch." he muttered standing back up. "Hey what the heck man! What did you stop for?"  
"I heard… voices."

"Voices?"

He put a finger to his lips.

They both listened. At first all they could hear was the tree frogs, and crickets…

_"Hey look."_

"Oh no." sighed Yazoo.

"I thought you killed them!" yelled Kadaj.

"I thought I did too."

_"Phoenix down."_

"That's cheating!" yelled Kadaj.

_"Kiss our ass."_

"HEY!" they both yelled.

_"Get over it!"_

"That's it!" yelled Yazoo shooting them… again.

_"You missed."_

"Damn it!"

_"Try again… Not!"_

"That's it! Come Yazzy we're getting Sephi!" stated Kadaj proudly stomping off.

"Call me that again and I'll kill you!" he called following him.

Meanwhile at the camp fire… 

Sephiroth was roasting marshmallows and yet still managed to be cool.

"I wonder what happened to those two." Said Loz taking a bit out of his well-roasted marshmallow.

"I don't know. Yazoo with him he'll be fine."

Suddenly the silence was gone by Kadaj screaming tot he top of his lungs. "SEPHIROTH!"  
"What?" he asked clammily merely looking up.

He stormed over to him. "The chorus returned."

He nearly choked on his marshmallow. "They returned?"

"Yes."

"I thought Yazoo killed them." Said Sephiroth

"So did I."

"Then how did they live through that."

"Phoenix downs." They both said.

"Oh…" He stood up.

"What are you doing?" asked Kadaj

"I'm going to go kill them… again." He said drawing his sword. "I'll be back." He said walking into the woods.

"Be careful!" Called Kadaj.

An owl hooted.

"Follow him?"

"Yeah." Said the other two.

"Sephi wait for us!" they called following her.

"The art to hunting chorus members is an very old art." Said Sephiroth

"There's an art to it?" asked Loz

"Yes, I thought Yazoo had that kind of art but apparently he doesn't."

"Hey!" yelled Yazoo.

"Shhh… I think I hear them…" he quietly walked over to a tree. "Take that you musical menace!" he yelled attacking it.

"AHHHHH!" screamed it.

"What the?"

"What is wrong with you? Attacking me for no reason?" yelled… Vincent.

"Oh hi Vincent my almost father."

"Sephiroth what the heck are you doing out here… in the woods, with your brothers?"

"I'm hunting down my choir. Seen them?"

"No."

"So… how's Cloud?"

"Last I seen him he was babbling on and on about something or other. I don't know he's Cloud overly emotional and such."

"Indeed. Well I'm going to go now."

"All right good luck with killing your choir."

"Thanks."

Thus they set off again to hunt down the choir.

Later… much later that is…

"Brother my feet hurt." Whined Kadaj

"Shut it."

"Brother I'm tired." Whined Loz.

"I told you to stop."

"Brother I'm –"

"Quite it Yazoo! I don't care what your problem is!"

Yazoo pouted.

"Don't be mean to him this is one of the few rare times he talked." Said Kadaj

"Shut up!" yelled Yazoo.

"All of you quite it okay! We are here for a reason!"

"I thought we were here for Kadaj's birth day present." Said Loz.

"Well his birth day can wait."

"Hey!" yelled Kadaj

"We have things to kill. Killing is fun, come on Daj you know it is."

"I hate you sometimes."

"But I thought you liked killing." Said Loz.

"I do but not when it gets in the way of my birth day."

"But you're the one who told him that they had came back." Said Yazoo.

"Well how was I supposed to know he would decided to kill them."

"It's Sephi 90 of the time that's all he thinks about."

"I heard that." Said Sephiroth.

"Sorry brother." They said.

Suddenly he stopped. "Ha I found you!"

_"Oh shit!"_

"Prepare to die you stupid choirs!" he yelled.

_"Wait!"_

"What is it?"

_"We're sorry. Please don't kill us."_

He sighed. "Fine."

"Wait a minute." Said Yazoo.

"You mean we wasted half the night looking for them and your going to let them go." Said Kadaj.

"Got a problem with that?" He asked holding his really freaking long sword up to them.

"No." they said.

"Good. Come on wee ones, we still have marshmallows to vanquish."

Read review no flames please.


	3. The whos?

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. Thanks all for the reviews. Remember read review no flames ooc is on purpose.

Ch 3 The who's?

It had been a peaceful day for the silver haired brothers. Well as peaceful as you can get with Kadaj fighting with Yazoo just because he could.

"Stop pulling my hair!" yelled Yazoo.

"Stop it." Mimicked Kadaj.

"Sephi make him stop."

Sephiroth stopped, turned around and glared at them. "Both of you stop acting like children! We are in public!"

Every one walking by was staring at them.

"Brother clam down we're in public remember." Said Kadaj.

Sephiroth frowned turn to Yazoo and pointed at him. "I balm you for this."

"Why?"

"You just had to go to the mall didn't you."

"I only wanted to play DDR."

"And what force all of us to play it while you pick some really fast song."

"That was Kadaj's doing."

"I did nothing!" yelled Kadaj

"Just SHUT UP!" yelled Sephiroth

"Yes brother."

"We are going home I am tired of your childish nonsense!"

He walked off as the other three followed until they passed five very strange looking people.

Both groups stopped then looked back at one another.

"What the hell?" asked Sephiroth

"I thought Halloween was later this month." Said Kadaj

"Vho the hell are you?" asked Rosso

"We are the Silver haired men." Said Sephiroth as he and his brothers tossed their hair except for Loz because his is cut short. "So who are you?"

"The Tsviets." They all said getting into battle stances.

"The spits?" asked Yazoo.

"No the Tsviests!" they said doing the whole stupid battle stance thing again.

"The shits?" asked Kadaj.

"No the… oh never mind." Said Weiss

"The oh never minds? That's easy to remember." Said Loz

All five of them glared at them.

"Do you four have names?" asked Shelke

"Sephiroth, Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz."

"Why am I all ways last?" asked Loz.

"Because you suck." Said Kadaj.

"You big meanie." Cried Loz as he began to cry again.

"Great." Sighed Yazoo.

"Do you not have a last name?" asked Shelke

The three looked at Sephi.

"We do have a last name its… Crescent."

"What since when?" asked Kadaj.

Sephi hit him. "Since now okay!"

"Ouch! Yes brother."

"Do you five have names?" asked Yazoo.

"I am Rosso the Crimson."

"Shelke the Transparent."

"Azul the Cerulean."

"Nero the Sable."

"Weiss the Immaculate."

They stared at them.

"… All of you guys' middle name is 'the'?" asked Loz.

"No!"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "Come on you three we're going home."

"All ready?" asked Kadaj.

"Yes now let's go now."

"Aww." The three sighed.

"NOW!"

"Yes brother."

They walked as far as they cloud from the Tviests.

"Those people were weird." Said Yazoo.

"Yup."

"We should go to the mall more often making fun of people is fun."

Sephiroth put his arm around him. "And this is way you're my favorite little brother."

"Hey I thought I was your favorite." Said Yazoo.

Sephiroth coughed. "Umm urm uh… you all are."

"All three of us?"

"Yes."

"Really?" asked Kadaj.

"Don't push it kid."

A/N: I'm so sorry I hadn't updated since forever. I have a job and college so I haven't really had time to update. Read review no flames ooc is on purpose. Next chapter coming soon with any luck.


	4. Hair dye

At last I have returned! Thanks all for the reviews. I haven't updated for a while because; I've been busy with my FF 12 humor fic, and other fics. Read review no flames ooc is on purpose.

Chaos Ch 4 Hair dye

Sephiroth was busy washing his long locks.

"_Sephiroth!"_

"Oh shut the hell up I don't feel like hearing it today."

"_Sorry." _Which was soon followed by. _"Oh snap."_

"Oh snap? Oh snap what?"

"_Umm nothing."_

Quickly Seph hoped out of the shower. (Still naked by the way) He looked at the mirror his hair was pink! And not just nay pink bright pink.

He screamed loudly and charged out of the bathroom. "Who did this! Who did this to my beautiful hair!"

"Oh my God you're naked!" yelped Kadaj

"My eyes!" screamed Yazoo faking a faint.

Seph was too angry to notice the draft. "Who did it?"

"Put some clothes on." Said Kadaj shielding his eyes.

"Not until you tell me who did it."

"I ain't tell you nothing till you cover up your friend."

He grabbed a nearby blanket. "Better."

"Ew that's Loz's blanket." Said Yazoo.

"I don't care! I'll wash the stupid thing! Now tell me who but the dye in my shampoo!"

"Maybe Loz's did. I haven't seen him all day."

"Loz…" He growled he turned around quickly and some how managed to keep the towel on. "Find him!" he marched into the bathroom.

Sephiroth soon returned fully clothed. "Well?"

"We found him." Said Kadaj.

"So where is he?"

"Come with us."

They walked over to the closet and opened the door. There was Loz sitting on the floor tied up.

"What the hell!?" yelled Sephiroth

Loz only mumbled his moth was taped shut, sitting on his chest was a note that said 'I did it. No not Loz, me.'

"Apparently who ever did this must have a sense of humor." Said Yazoo.

"We must solve this mystery." Said Sephiroth.

"Why?" both brothers asked.

"Because I must have my vengeance!!!!!!!"

Ooh cliffyness! Now it is your time the readers to choose, who do you want to be the criminal? Read review no flames.


	5. Who done it?

Thanks all for the reviews. Gives all cookies Remember read review no flames.

Chaos 

Ch 5 Who done it?

Sephiroth sat there on the couch extremely mad. "Well?"

"I have formed a list of culprits." Said Yazoo.

"And?"

"We have: Aeris, Cloud, Vincent, Kadaj, and the Choir."

"What!?" yelled Kadaj and the Choir.

"Well I can see you two doing that."

_"Hey we are more than one person."_

"Well all of you shut up! I'm the one who looks like a Gojyo cosplayer!" yelled Sephiroth

"Minus the stupid looking pants." Added Loz who had remain silent through out most of the fighting and yelling.

"Shut it!" Sephi got up from the couch, and pointed at the list of people. (Yazoo had written them down on a chalkboard. "It wasn't the Choir because they aren't real people they are just singers."

_"Exactly."_

"But they probably had a hand in the plot. Now Dajie do you have an alibi?"

"Yes."

"Which is?"

"I was out shopping."

"Buying pink hair dye?"

"No. Hair gel."

"Oh… so that's where that new hair gel came from. Okay as for the rest of them let's hunt them down and-"

"Kill them!" yelped Kadaj jumping up into the air.

"No you sicko! Interrogate them duh."

Suspect one: Vincent 

"Vincent Valentine!" Said Sephiroth walking up to him.

"Oh hey Seph… what's with the new hair color?"

"I was hopping you could tell me."

"Looks like it's pink. Interesting choice my almost son it really brings out the black in your clothes. Though for an evil crazy man as you turned out to be it doesn't suit you. But I shouldn't judge you since-"

"Enough! For the love of mother!"

"Lucrecia?"

"No JENOVA."

"Oh…"

"So Vince do you know who did this to my hair?"

"You mean it wasn't you?"

"No…"

"Nope, I don't know."

"Okay thanks for your time."

­

Suspect Two: Cloud 

"I know he did it. Just look at him, blond and spiky headed. Waiting for revenge." Said Kadaj

"For what?" asked Yazoo.

"Don't you remember in chapter one we caused him to loose his mind."

"No."

"Oh well…"

"Can I help you four, sorry silver haired people… erm three silver haired men and one pink haired… I thought the convention was next week, and you were going to dress up as you self, at least it'll be easy fro you to copy his hair, have you made the clothes yet."

Seph blushed, yes the great Sephiroth blushed. "I have no clue as to what you are talking about."

"The anime convention, remember you, me, Tifa, and Aeris."

"Anime convention?" asked Yazoo.

"And you didn't invite us? That's low Seph." Said Kadaj

"I'm not cosplaying as Goyjo!"

"Oh then why is your hair pink?"

"I thought you dyed it!"

"Me? No, why would I do that?"

"Because we torment you!"

"Then why would I dye only your hair pink?"

"Because you want me to look like a fool before the convention."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't do it." He said leaving.

Suspect Three Aeris 

"You." Sephiroth simply stated as he walked up to her.

"Why hello there Sephi-wephi."

"Sephi-wephi?" repeated the three brothers.

"Never mind that. Woman can you explain this?" he asked pointing at his hair.

"You dyed your hair pink?"

"No you dyed my hair pink."

She smiled. "I know isn't it CUUUUUUTE!!!!!"

"No it's not! I look stupid!"

"Well that's what you get for thinking about pulling that mean trick on your brothers."

"Mean trick?" the three asked.

"I uh…"

"Your Choir told me that you were going to but hair dye in their shampoo bottles before you left for the convention. You naughty, naughty boy."

"Seph." The three said glaring at him.

"I uh… got to go!" he yelped running away.

"Get back here!" they all yelled chasing after him.

Aeris laughed. "Bye Sephi-wephi don't forget to call me!"

Thank you all of you all for your lovely suggestions. Picking the culprit in the end was rather difficult. Thank you all again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Oh and for those who don't know the anime character Goyjo that everyone is talking about it Sha Goyjo from Saiyuki.

Read review no flames. Thank you all again.


	6. Sephiroth vs Super Wall Market

Thanks all for the reviews and remember read review no flames. Italic is thought.

Chaos

Ch 6 Sephiroth vs. Super Wall Market.

Sephiroth was having a fairly nice day. He hair was finally back to it's beautiful silver color, the brothers were at home, and he could have some much needed me time.

But he had to go shopping. Not that he minded shopping really but he hated going to Super Wall Market on a Saturday night. And his brothers informed him he had to act normal!

His first stop was the ATM, because you can't do much shopping without money now can you? Sephiroth never had much luck with ATMs he usually just handed the card to Yazoo and told him to get money. But today he was the one who had to fight the demonic ATM.

Oh how he hated the ATM machine. He slid his card into the slot.

"Good morning." Said the digital voice

The darn machine didn't even know what time it was! "Morning." He mumbled still wondering why his brothers had insisted on getting an ATM card rather than regular checking.

"Please type in you account number."

He typed it in. And he waited…

"Please type in your account number."

"I just did!" he yelled.

"Please type in your account number."

He growled but obeyed the machine of Satan.

Ten minutes later.

"Please select a transaction."

"Finally." He said as he hit the 'withdraw' button

Five minutes later.

It spit out the money.

"Transactions complete?"

"Yes." He said out loud hitting the button.

It paused. "Transactions complete?"

"I said yes!" he yelled hitting the button again.

It paused then finally spit out his recite.

"Have a good day."

"You too." He said turning around to see that a group of people was standing there starring at him

"What?"

They all looked at each other then fled and he swore he heard a child ask if the scary man was crazy.

Sephiroth continued his grand shopping adventure. He walked into Super Wall Market.

"Good afternoon sir." Said the old fart of a greeter.

"Afternoon." He nodded as the old guy handed him a shopping cart.

Being the fact that Sephiroth had the luck of a cursed man who had walked under a latter and his path crossed by a thousand black cats he had the shopping cart with the messed up wheel.

"Do you have one that is not broken?"

"Eh? What was that sonny?"

"I said do you have one that's not broken?" he said louder

"No my hip's been broken for years, I just got it replaced last week thanks for asking."

"No! Sir do you have a buggy that doesn't have a broken wheel?" he asked a little louder.

"Do I have a bug? No I got over that last week too."

Sephiroth had to fight back the urge to stab the old man… repeatedly. "Sir you do have a shopping cart that isn't broken?"

"Do I have a car? No sonny I live close to work so I walk."

"For the love of mother." He mumbled placing his hand on his fore head.

"Do I love your mother? No sonny I don't even know your mother."

He just looked at him then left.

Sephiroth decided it was a good a time as ever to see what was on his shopping list. It was painfully obvious to tell who wrote what. Loz's hand writing was next to unreadable, Yazoo's was a lot like his own neat and legible, Kadaj's was… a lot like his personality crazy then normal… he also couldn't spell worth a darn.

He squinted at the paper. "Air… no hir… no… oh hair gel. Duh." He said wondering over to the hair care alley.

He picked up said hair gel. He glanced at the paper again and of course they were out of shampoo and conditioner. _"I think we go through more that stuff than we do food."_

He thought picking up four bottle of both.

He looked at the list next was food.

He went over to the grocery section. He looked at the list again. Thankfully Yazoo had written it down so it was legible. Though it did strike him as odd since he wasn't the cook Loz was. His mind then decided that his middle bother must have taken pity upon him and wrote the rest of the list.

Sephiroth got the food without a hitch. He glanced at the list to see that something was scratched out five times then below all the scratching was a small note. 'Sephi please get some junk food. I'll do what ever you want me to do for you' He assumed that Kadaj was trying to get some chips or something and Yazoo had informed him at least five times 'it was bad for his health and he couldn't have it'

_"Oh well."_ Sephiroth decided_. "At least I'll have a servant for a sort while before he keels over."_

The problem with the junk food ale other than the fact it was stuffed full of tempting fatting goodies was the fact every one in Edge seemed to be in the ally at the same time.

In today since how it was Sephiroth's lucky day there was a woman with a shopping cart full of food in front of the particular food he wanted. Said mountain of food also had a baby in it. _" I didn't know this place sold babies. This place really does have everything."_

The little baby looked up at him. "Hi." Said the baby waving a cubby hand at him.

He smiled the little filth ball was cute. "Hello."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"…"

"Hi."

"…"

"Hi."

"HI! For the last freaking time hi!"

The baby started crying.

"You jerk!" yelled the mother hitting him repeatedly with her purse then she left.

Bruised, beaten, and tired Sephiroth claimed the last item on the list. As he crossed it off he noticed one last thing… another note… 'Please get another plant.' Ah a plant… the story of the old plant is a story in of itself…so he decided to get Yazoo another plant.

He walked over to the gardening section of Super Wall Market. His last stop soon he would have freedom… the door to the greenhouse was locked. "What… NOOOOOOOO!" he yelled kicking the door. He then pressed some buttons kicked it again and it still didn't open.

"Do you need help sir?" asked a casher.

"The door won't open."

"Well I'm not from this department but I can try to open it." She pressed some buttons it tried to open but didn't. She walked over to a phone. 'We need back up down here."

Five seconds later another employee showed up. "What 's the problem?"

"The door is locked."

"I don't have a key for that."

_"Then why did you come here?"_

Another showed up. "What's the problem?"

"The door is locked."

"I can't help you maybe John can."

_"Good lord she called for back up not every useless individual to show up here."_

Another one showed up all them greeted him. Apparently he was this John character. He walked up to the door and pulled out a key and unlocked the door.

_"Finally."_ He walked in there got a plant and left.

Now he had to stand in line for three hours. In front of him was a woman with blond hair wearing a black suit talking on the cell phone.

"I'm sorry I can't get out of here any sooner! The so-called express line was full okay! I know Reno has a head ach!"

_"And it must be worse with you yelling."_

She sighed. "Well if his whining is bothering you that bad put duct tape on his mouth! If you won't do it then stop complaining about him complaining."

_"Does this woman ever shut up?"_

Said annoying woman was next in line she tossed one… ONE! Bottle of aspirin on the conveyor belt as it was scanned. "Here you go.' Said the clerk taking her money as the woman left chatting away on her phone.

At least his freedom was near. All of it was bagged and he finally was able to leave.

"I'm home!" he announced walking into the house.

"Brother!" exclaimed Kadaj running up to him.

"My loving little bro-"

"Did you get the junk food?" he asked looking in the bags.

He frowned.

"Did you get it?" asked Yazoo.

"Yes here is you new plant." He said pulling out a small potted plant.

He smiled. "Thank you brother." He said taking it.

"Now all of you all promise me one thing."

"What?" asked Loz.

"NEVER EVER MAKE ME DO THAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!"

Read review no flames. Sehpi vs the ATM was Ducks go quack's idea. Thanks friend. Other things in here are loosely based on real life situations, others I just made up Next chapter coming soon maybe…


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